So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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