So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
