There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
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