We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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