2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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