Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
