Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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