oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
