Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
