I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
