i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I will pee on everything he values.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
