She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Randomize
