just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
