I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
