AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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