im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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