If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
