I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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