Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
