But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
