16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
