hotel room ftw
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
