I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
