Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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