There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
