i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
