I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
