Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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