what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
