if i died would you start the facebook group?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
