At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
