Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
