Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
