dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
