I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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