I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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