getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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