she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
