Life is so much better after having sex.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
