You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
