real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
