my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
