its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize