College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
