You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
