what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
