I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
