she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
