Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
