We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
