I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
