If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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