She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
