If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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