We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
